Nothing to Gain

 The best evidence I can produce that my account is true is our own actions. WE HAVE NOTHING TO GAIN BY LEAVING. We are leaving a solid job that has provided for our needs through a pandemic, and by all accounts would continue to support our family’s needs. We DO NOT have another job lined up, and we have not even started work on a resume. Neither of us has been in the job market for over a decade, so it isn’t as though we can simply jump in and find good work. We are staking our reputation and credibility to call out abuse that is difficult to prove, and in the face of strong opposition. It would be much easier to sit back and say nothing, or even to leave quietly without making our position known. We have NO EXPECTATION that others will choose to side with us, or even believe us. We know from experience that seldom happens in such cases. We are leaving at great personal and relational cost to ourselves and our children - we do not have a lot of strong relationships outside of brethren circles. I have never attended anywhere else, and neither have the children. Brian knows full well that other churches have problems too, and has no official seminary or educational background that will permit him to easily find another ministry position. 

If we are not being truthful about the abuse and the toxic environment, we have nothing to gain by this action. The only way this choice makes sense is if we feel a strong threat to our health and safety. AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. There is a mountain of evidence in support of the fact that emotional/ psychological abuse (such as bullying, manipulation, etc.) causes severe emotional and physical distress and harm, especially over the long term. We are suffering such effects daily, and so are our children. We can no longer tolerate this situation, particularly where there is no evidence to suggest that it will be stopped or even challenged. It is literally killing us and our children. We leave because there is no other viable option.